Trapped in middle school

I have a 13 year old brain that insists on taking everything it hears or reads and twisting it into something inappropriate to the exhaustion of my friends.

One friend in particular texted me to make sure I got home from my overnight shift safely after this last snowstorm, only to have a barrage of one liners hurled relentlessly back. You know who you are and 13 year old me is STILL not sorry.

That was quality humor coming from someone who hadn’t slept yet, although to be fair, I’d have made the same jokes fully rested. My brain is after all, clearly stuck in adolescence.

A: God, I’m itching to take my 4wd out but I’m gonna get my front and rear differential serviced before I do.

Me: Why not get your “oil changed” while you’re at it, if you know what I mean…

A: Ha ha yes Ell, I know what you mean. Everyone knows what you mean.

Me: Do they?

A: Yes. Go to bed!

Me: Why? Are you going to “lube your chassis”?

A: smh

Me: Are you gonna get your tires “rotated”? “Clear the exhaust”? “Top off your tank”? ”

A: Seriously, you need help

Me: You do have a lot of “junk in your trunk”. I’m not criticizing, I have a lot of junk in my trunk I too.

A: omg

Me: I have more. I can go all day. They dont get any better but I’m still rather pleased with myself…

A: Why am I friends with you??? Get sleep and when you wake up, please be done with middle school 😂

Me: We both know I cant do that.

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Blogger, life enthusiast, queen of chaos. Author and star of #closertocrazy, and Hairbeast Productions. I live in north central Massachusetts on a tiny misshapen, entirely accidental farm. Life is always an adventure! Available for freelance writing and social media Brand Building consultation Contact me at to discuss projects and fees

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