Just cant help myself

Jeeze I’m tired. Yeah. Too tired to even eat my feelings, and you know I love to eat my feelings I dragged my tired tush (no small fete since it’s no small tush) around work having only 2 1/2 hours of sleep in the last two days, and one 20 minute nap on the heated driver’s seat of my parked and idling car in the lot on my 3am break.

Yes, yes I know, I know. You have my word I’ll take my nap game back into the building from now on since midnight hospital lot car naps absolutely feel like the start to a Steven King novel even to reckless and weary me.

Also, I had fitful dreams of being narcammed by well meaning good samaritan fellow employees, mistaking my napping for something else entirely.

I stopped home long enough to grab three eager dogs who took the time to mark my reappearance in their lives by rolling happily around the wet grass in the rain befor jumping into the car to accompany me to my spine guy’s office.

Their damp puppy breath and wet fur fogged up the inside of the car as I drove, heat blasting in an attempt to counter it so I could see where I was going.

I parked, assured the dogs I’d be back soon, and dragged my dumb leg across the parking lot to the main entrance. The right side gets dumb and stupid and unreliable when my pain levels are high, the reason for this visit. A rainy day means empty spots are allllll the way at the back.


I stood before the confused receptionist, rubbing what felt like grains of sand out of my sleepless eyes as she tapped at the keyboard and muttered

“Im so sorry we don’t seem to have you on our schedule…”

And it hit me. I realized why: I was at the wrong doctors office. My bone guy. The one who fixed one knee and two shoulders. One of the shoulders twice, a month a part. He’s a big fan of me. I’m buying him a boat, one surgery at a time.

I had to run back out to the car full of wet dogs and haul ass with steamed up windows to my spine guy, a difficult thing to manage at the moment in my state. But I managed it. Like a BOSS. even one minute early. BOOM.

Now usually I play this little game with my spine guy while I wait. I try to take as many pictures with the things in his office as possible while I wait. He is aware of this. He’s caught me several times now, mid pose with various spine models, masks and equipment.

I call it an incentive program. For him to hurry the hell up and not keep me waiting too long. Unless he wants to be featured an hour later in one of my posts. Which he has. Four times now.

But today, today I was too tired and aching for hijinks. I sat there quietly ignoring my dumb leg and other dumb parts of me and waited.

Five whole minutes.

And then something shiny caught my eye…..

For the record, my doctor walked in DURING this picture and had the decency to restrain his reaction to shaking his head while I finished, put the thing back on his counter and sat down.

I pushed my hair back from my face, folded my hands on my lap, and smiled.

“You cant help yourself, can you?” Was all he said.


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Blogger, life enthusiast, queen of chaos. Author and star of #closertocrazy, and Hairbeast Productions. I live in north central Massachusetts on a tiny misshapen, entirely accidental farm. Life is always an adventure! Available for freelance writing and social media Brand Building consultation Contact me at lastlaughliz@gmail.com to discuss projects and fees

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