Lo

…and lo the gentle nurse beckoned this weary and one armed train wreck of a woman forward, saying:

“Climb thou upon this measure of weights that I may record for posterity the hugeness of your ass.”

And the weary and one armed train wreck of a woman held up her hand and said:

“Back thine own ass up for this day shall not end in tears. Let me pass unweighted or I shall smite thee.”

And the nurse backed her own ass up.

And the weary and one armed train wreck of a woman walked past her, into the examining room where she proceeded to calm the hell down and not smite a single soul.

#nottoday

#ishallsmitthee

#justno