Tough day, tougher girl

Tough day, tougher girl. I had plans for my weekend. Plans I’ve been working towards, plans that made me dig deep so many times the past several months. I had days when I felt like I was flying and days when I sobbed my heart out on runs because it felt so hard to do. Some days it took everything I had to muster the mental game for long runs. My body and my brain wanted little to do with each other. 
The race is only 4 days away. My plan has been to listen to my body closely and walk when I need to, but to cross the finishline no matter how hard it might be. I’m a stubborn woman and adversity is nothing new to me so it takes a lot to let go of a goal and accept that some races you just don’t get to run.

Like today. Today I admitted things  happening inside of me were more than things I could simply walk off, tough my way though, keep going without breaking stride. I was told by my doctor this afternoon that apart from a load of blood work, ultrasounds and specialists I need to see in the next two weeks, I can’t run the Smuttynose half-marathon I’ve been training for months for. 
It’s  only 4 days away.  I can almost touch it. I’ve had panic attacks and crying jags and excited “I can do anything” moments since the day I registered for the race. I want to do this. I want to feel my body push through each stage of the run, every mile, the good and the bad and I want to feel the joy of proving to myself that I can overcome my own fears and limitations. My life on my terms. This is one race I can’t run. This is one of those times When you get soooo close, so close, and have to let go. 
And that’s hard. That’s hard when you’re as stubborn as I am. So today was tough. I’m tougher. I’m feeling worn out and overwhelmed. I just need to catch my breath and kick this things ass and then I’ll be back for the next race.  ❤️ 







Published by


Blogger, life enthusiast, queen of chaos. Author and star of #closertocrazy, and Hairbeast Productions. I live in north central Massachusetts on a tiny misshapen, entirely accidental farm. Life is always an adventure! Available for freelance writing and social media Brand Building consultation Contact me at to discuss projects and fees

One thought on “Tough day, tougher girl”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s