All my ducks in a row

All my ducks are in a row, at least for now. You all know the sayings “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and get all your ducks in a row”. They’re intended to impart wisdom and some pretty decent organizational advice, if I say so myself. However…I frequently find that I DO need to put all my eggs in one basket. I am constantly misplacing things, and when you have your eggs all over the place it can be hard to keep track of them. Also, I may have mentioned in other pieces that I do have five children. College going children. Have you seen what it costs to go to college these days? My point is, most of the time these days I only have one basket and I put allllll my eggs there so I can look at that basket and know where my worldly goods are. Also, if I’m having a bad day I have an arsenal of eggs just ready for throwing. Egging the idiot who parked their car diagonally across the last two spaces on a rainy day in November comes with FAR less jail time than stabbing them with your windshield wiper (the broken one you needed to replace anyway but haven’t because you don’t have enough eggs to replace the damn thing after that last tuition payment…). It’s simple math, really. No body to hide, either.

Like everything else in my chaotically evolving life, my ducks are never in a row for very long. They tend to wander off, like I do, and get swept away in different directions that leave me running round half crazed (yes, yes, I know, FULLY crazed…). That’s when I got the bright idea to get that damn basket with the eggs, and put my ducks in it too! Once they’re all cornered, THEN line them up in a row. GENIUS. My life skills being suspicious at best, this method seems to be working fairly well with only a few bugs and kinks to work out. Now, where did I leave that basket?