There is no “poop fairy”
It kills me. It kills me when I read articles by women who talk about the messages they might be sending their children by working outside the home. In 2016 women are still at war. We don’t make the same pay as men for the same job. We are underrepresented in too many arenas. What is worse though is that we seem to often be at war with each other. Stay at home working parents versus outside the home working parents. Boob versus bottle. Everyone feels cheated by their choice or their need and worries about the messages they might, or might not be passing on to their kids. One such article I read tonight was authored (http://www.scarymommy.com/my-working-mom/) by a SAHP. She writes about the need to send a positive work ethic message to her kids. What kills me is that she continues to say “even though I don’t work…I can tell my daughters girls can work too! Grammy works!”
This is (consciously or subconsciously) a denigration of the incredibly hard work of WORKING AT HOME as a full time caregiver, household manager and a multitude of other things done in the course of a day as a SAHP (stay at home parent). I look forward to the day women stop differentiating and judging their self worth based on where they work during the day. At home or elsewhere. I have worked both as a full time stay at home parent, and worked outside of the home over the years, and with 5 children. Regardless of your choice or need, every parent struggles with the messages they send as role models. It’s not rocket science. Teach them by word and by deed to be a good person. Don’t be afraid to fail. Do the thing that brings you joy. Make a difference with your unique gifts. Use your voice to speak your mind and don’t apologize for having that voice.
A strong and powerful woman is a woman who knows her self worth no matter what the world tries to tell her. That is the message we need to teach our daughters (as well as our sons) regardless of where we “work”. Every job has its challenges and sacrifices, working as a full time parent, or outside of the home. Our children do not learn to value our work ethic by seeing our paycheck. They lean about it by witnessing us work hard at whatever we do. They do not learn how much we love them by where we work, they learn about our love by experiencing it. So if I’m the first to break the bad news, I’m sorry, but there is no “Poop fairy”. I’m begging you, please stop throwing it at each other like monkeys behaving badly. We are the only ones who will have to clean it all up. Here ends my rant but my deep desire to encourage women to support each other, and to stop competing and comparing for validation, will never end. You matter. Period.