There is no “Poop fairy”

There is no “poop fairy”
It kills me. It kills me when I read articles by women who talk about the messages they might be sending their children by working outside the home. In 2016 women are still at war. We don’t make the same pay as men for the same job. We are underrepresented in too many arenas. What is worse though is that we seem to often be at war with each other. Stay at home working parents versus outside the home working parents. Boob versus bottle. Everyone feels cheated by their choice or their need and worries about the messages they might, or might not be passing on to their kids. One such article I read tonight was authored ( by a SAHP. She writes about the need to send a positive work ethic message to her kids. What kills me is that she continues to say “even though I don’t work…I can tell my daughters girls can work too! Grammy works!”

This is (consciously or subconsciously) a denigration of the incredibly hard work of WORKING AT HOME as a full time caregiver, household manager and a multitude of other things done in the course of a day as a SAHP (stay at home parent). I look forward to the day women stop differentiating and judging their self worth based on where they work during the day. At home or elsewhere. I have worked both as a full time stay at home parent, and worked outside of the home over the years, and with 5 children. Regardless of your choice or need, every parent struggles with the messages they send as role models. It’s not rocket science. Teach them by word and by deed to be a good person. Don’t be afraid to fail. Do the thing that brings you joy. Make a difference with your unique gifts. Use your voice to speak your mind and don’t apologize for having that voice.

A strong and powerful woman is a woman who knows her self worth no matter what the world tries to tell her. That is the message we need to teach our daughters (as well as our sons) regardless of where we “work”. Every job has its challenges and sacrifices, working as a full time parent, or outside of the home. Our children do not learn to value our work ethic by seeing our paycheck. They lean about it by witnessing us work hard at whatever we do. They do not learn how much we love them by where we work, they learn about our love by experiencing it. So if I’m the first to break the bad news, I’m sorry, but there is no “Poop fairy”. I’m begging you, please stop throwing it at each other like monkeys behaving badly. We are the only ones who will have to clean it all up. Here ends my rant but my deep desire to encourage women to support each other, and to stop competing and comparing for validation, will never end. You matter. Period.

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Blogger, life enthusiast, queen of chaos. Author and star of #closertocrazy, and Hairbeast Productions. I live in north central Massachusetts on a tiny misshapen, entirely accidental farm. Life is always an adventure! Available for freelance writing and social media Brand Building consultation Contact me at to discuss projects and fees

4 thoughts on “There is no “Poop fairy””

  1. I absolutely agree! I know first hand how, being a stay-at-home-working Mom with four children, I was made to feel that I was not really working! And this from other women who were not SAHM’s. These were “professional” women, and they’d ask, “so what do you do all day?” My response? “I sit around eatting Bon Bons in my bathrobe!” When women don’t respect other women in their working roles, how can we expect to be treated equally. And when I began working outside my home, part time (so-called “mother’s hours”) I was still balancing home and family responsibilities. Fortunately I have been blest with an amazing husband, but that’s a story for another post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My sentiments exactly, echoing the discussions your Mom and I have had lo these many years. “Work”, for too many people, still seems to be limited to endeavors that produce a paycheck, rather than the deeper and truer sense to refer to endeavors that create, build up and shape. All work has value; all women are working women.

    Liked by 1 person

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