A hot mess

  

I am a hot mess. I have always been a hot mess. I am imperfect, impatient, and impetuous. I am passionate, impulsive and rash. I start every day with adrenalin surging like a tidal wave through my body. I love to perform and yet I struggle with anxiety, and panic. I tend to pull away and inside myself when I am overwhelmed. And I am often overwhelmed. I find during these times that it is a struggle to even leave my home on hard days. When people see me, they see my smile, hear my laughter, see my candor and willingness to be openly foolish, and perceive a confidence I am challenged to bring forth. I have lived like this for as long as I can remember. I begin each day with the firm belief I can manage my path, and I assure myself that I can do more, even though many days the best that I can manage is slow breaths and steadying thoughts. I am not ashamed to share my struggle. I believe in reaching out, reaching down, and reaching back to help myself, and to help others who also struggle under the weight of burdens that lie hidden from view. So adept are we at concealing our challenges, our personal pain, maybe wanting so much to be free of it that we would rather hide it from the world than to let the world see us as we truly are: Gloriously human. Deeply and wonderfully flawed. Change within is not gifted, it is won. It is fought for and worked for. We are constant works in progress. Fluid. Plasticine. Able to adapt and overcome. We are each amazing. Over the years I have come to embrace myself with compassion. Some days I soar, and some days I put one foot in front of the other with great determination. I am human, and I am blessed to be so beautifully and wonderfully flawed. 

  

Published by

lastlaughliz

Blogger, life enthusiast, queen of chaos. Author and star of #closertocrazy, and Hairbeast Productions. I live in north central Massachusetts on a tiny misshapen, entirely accidental farm. Life is always an adventure! Available for freelance writing and social media Brand Building consultation Contact me at lastlaughliz@gmail.com to discuss projects and fees

3 thoughts on “A hot mess”

  1. Yes, dear Elizabeth, we are all flawed, broken, stumbling, and most days trying to maintain a brave, smiling face; sometimes being a bit whacky, other times, just smiling because that’s all we can manage. But it’s that constant hope burning inside that keeps us moving forward, keeps you, dear daughter, taking those baby steps, or sometimes giant leaps! Keep moving … smiling …. being crazy wild … not afraid to cry … not afraid to share your vulnerability. As I always say, you ROCK GIRL!💝

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was stuck in my email draft folder for (I don’t know how) long, and is still true to this day:

    You are an inspiration to me on so many days! You carry yourself into the fray and meet challenges at full tilt! I sometimes comment to you and others that I see you as part Mary Poppins, and part Pied Piper. . . I now would like to add the insatiable determined nature (also a bit wacky) of the unsinkable Don Quixote! Keep tilting at those windmills my love! And I will forever be at your side, have your back, and cheer YOU ON!!!!!

    I Love You with all I have, all I am, and all the ALL!!!

    >

    Liked by 1 person

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